Welcome to The Dettes

Follow the adventures of Claudette and Paulette - the twins.
Love and Kisses, Paulette and Claudette

Friday, January 21, 2011

Doe Se Doe In The Headlights


Claudette flashed me a peculiar grin as she whisked the snow dust from her hair.  Before I could say anything she ran up the stairs to her front door and disappeared inside.  Her husband, Thomas, had watched as his wife streaked past and now looked to me for an explanation.  I hunched my shoulders and put my hand out palm up. “Please sir, can you spare me a drink?   He smiled and wiggled his pointer finger at me as an invitation to join him on the deck.  I watched as he uncorked a bottle of red wine and offered me a glass.  After fiddling with an outdoor heater he poured some for himself and sat down.  I took a quick sip and nodded a toast his way, “Thanks brother I needed that.”  


Thomas toasted back, “Anytime, dearie.”  He pointed at the bottle, “Do you think Claudette would like some too?”  


I nodded adamantly in agreement, “Yes, I’m sure of it.”  


He poured a generous glass for Claudette. “Is she alright?”  


I answered him in a quiet and low tone.  “We took a long drive down memory lane this afternoon and I think it made her sad.”  Thomas didn’t bring up the subject of snow which I thought was noble of him.  If he’d asked I would have quoted my idol Rod Serling.  "There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man......  This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call "The Twilight Zone."  I truly believe that there are some things that simply defy explanation.  


Thomas stood up and took two glasses of wine down the hallway.  Over his shoulder he mouthed his plan. “I’ll be back in a bit.”  I smiled reassuringly knowing from experience it would be a while.  From my chair on the deck I watching the jagged cityscape turn silver against an indigo sky.  I felt comfortable and peacefully alone sitting amongst the evening stars.  My mood was reflective and I allowed my mind to wander rein free into the past.  
Thomas and Claudette have been married a very long time.  Of course, that means I’ve been in his life equally as long as Claudette, and he’s been a good sport about it.  He knows above all else that you can’t separate twins, and if you marry one you might as well be married to both.  I don’t mean to sound like a Mormon fundamentalist, but it’s true.  We are fraternal twins, not two peas in a pod.  Our personalities and temperaments differ, but we laugh at the same things.  Thomas has always liked to kid us.  “You are like finding two prizes in a Cracker Jack box.”  As a trio we’ve spent eons together in the pursuit of love, happiness, and evolution.  
Over the years I’ve observed Thomas and Claudette navigate the unpredictable currents that accompany marriages of a long duration.  I truly respect their perseverance and bravery for staying on course.  In turn, they’ve been accepting of my relationship choices, including my short marriage to Vincent.   When Claudette walked down the aisle with Thomas she said, “That’s that,” and meant it.  When I whispered “I do,” I crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.  I’ve  always been the one who questioned the slippery sloped institution of marriage.   
Claudette warned me well in advance before I took my ill-fated plunge into matrimony.   “Sis, you are not over Doody yet, Vince’s a rebound.”  She teasingly referred to my first true love, Theo, as Howdy Doody (the famous puppet) because of their seriously similar characteristics;  auburn hair, pale blue eyes, fair freckly skin, long fingers, and both look like goobers in a pair of jeans.   I was attracted to Theo’s exceptional intellect which he used skillfully and often with steely arrogance.  It turns out he was rather wooden-headed too when it came to matters of the heart. It didn’t take him long to expertly splinter any hopes I had entertained for a future together. 
Eventually, I gave up on Theo and married Vince. I should have listened to Claudette’ concerns. “Sure opposites attract, but it depends on your definition of opposite!”  Vince was a perfectionist in all respects (anal), a straight shooter (myopic), and a rectangular thinker (blockheaded).  


Vince would often seriously lecture me.  “Paulette, the answer is either black or white, there is nothing in between.”  


I enjoyed teasing him.  “What about gradations of gray?”  I exasperated him beyond words and he bored me to no end.  Truthfully my marriage to a “known quantity” was doomed from the beginning.  Had Theo proposed I’d have accepted in a heartbeat, but he never asked.  In retrospect, I was saved from living a very linear and conservative life with a stuffed shirt. He probably would have hung me out to dry somewhere down the line like he did his first wife.  For those who are hard of hearing advice please note, if you want the real truth about a prospective mate, ask someone whom you love and they’ll give it to you straight.  You may not like the answer either but you’d better listen.
The concept of marriage is perplexing and I still haven’t figured out how it works yet.  I think it’s like a complicated dance.  It takes care, patience, and a lot of fine tuning to keep in step.